Ganja Vibes Blog

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What could make for a more wholesome family vacation than dragging your children on a tour of famous statues and sculptures around the world? Sure, they're likely to be bored out of their minds, but it's better than little Billy staying home and browsing filth on the Internet. But then, while visiting an old church or park, suddenly ... penises. Penises everywhere. "Oh God, why are there so many penises? Look away, little Sally! Wait, no, don't look over there! Is that a clitoris?" Congratulations, you and your children have unwittingly stumbled across ...

#5. The Sex Contortionists of San Pedro de Cervatos

Ecelan/Wikimedia

If there's one tourist attraction on Earth you'd think you could rely on to not be full of stone sculptures of taints and nut sacks, it would be a church. It seems like a safe assumption, but you know what they say about assumptions making an ass out of you and religious structural supports.

via Relatos de Arte Such guesses make you sound like you have your head up your ass.

The carvings on the northern Spanish church of San Pedro de Cervatos feature pretty much every perversion you can imagine, including animal sex, masturbation, grotesquely engorged genitals, and auto-fellatio made possible by some rather impressive flexibility. Here's a carving of a man who appears to be eating his own severed penis:

Ecelan/Wikimedia It was too short to reach his mouth, so he ripped it from its socket.

This 12th century house of worship is also known as St. Peter of Fawns, which sounds charming until you see the carvings and start to wonder precisely what it was Peter was doing with those poor deer.

via Vicente Novillo Possibly depicted here. We really can't tell.

These sorts of carvings were surprisingly common sights on medieval European churches, but San Pedro de Cervatos is the best example due to both the sheer number of them and their remarkable level of depravity -- their size and stamina, if you will. Art historians can't agree on what their purpose was, besides messing with future generations. The most common theory is that they were used to educate the largely illiterate population on just how absolutely disgusting and definitely not fun it was to be promiscuous and sinful, like a 12th century PSA. Whether this had any effect at all on the bedroom habits of the congregation besides giving them some exciting new positions to try isn't known, but we seriously doubt it.

via Vicente Novillo Here we see history's first depiction of the now-infamous "Canadian Snowblower" position.

Other scholars believe that the region was in desperate need of settlers, and so the carvings were intended to encourage the locals to put the "creation" back in "procreation." And a third theory suggests that sculptors with Jewish or Islamic roots helped build the churches and decided to troll their rival religion, making their employment the worst outsourcing decision in history until an Iranian airport discovered a giant Star of David on its roof.

#4. The Depraved Nightmares of Bosc de Can Ginebreda

Lluís Reverter, Bosc de Can Ginebreda

Bosc de Can Ginebreda is a picturesque juniper forest located a convenient two hours north of Barcelona. At first blush, it's your typical park ... and then you come across the dick-haired Medusa statue.

Lluís Reverter, Bosc de Can Ginebreda Every time the poor woman tries shampooing, it ends in bukkake.

The park is the gallery of Xicu Cabanyes, Catalan sculptor and a psychoanalyst's wet dream. He's erected (sorry) over 100 pieces since the 1970s, most of which are about sex, death, or both. When asked why he created the forested gallery, he said, "I wanted to create a space where people could move freely throughout the art ... but I also wanted to annoy the Francoists," because as we all know, the Spanish Civil War was fought over the right to build a giant concrete vagina:

Lluís Reverter, Bosc de Can Ginebreda One side demanded concrete, the other preferred snow.

Some of the statues are downright horrifying, like the man with a boner that's speared through his stomach and out his back. It's supposedly a commentary on gender violence and the excesses of male chauvinism, and we're not going to look at it long enough to argue.

Lluís Reverter, Bosc de Can Ginebreda "Well, doctor, he told me to go fuck myself, and I just assumed ..."

Oh, and what's this over here?

Alex Sharp/The Guardian Ah, the rear wall.

It's a wall of butts, all cast from some incredibly open and tolerant friends of the artist. There's a few frontal shots too, and once you've stopped wondering if any of your friends would let you slap their junk in a plaster cast, let's move on to the "Fornicating Tables."

Lluís Reverter, Bosc de Can Ginebreda Fucking a chair leg now seems downright quaint.

The explanation for that one is "We often spend so many voluptuous moments around tables that the tables also become motivated," which is the most dubious sexual argument we've heard since the ol' "I've traveled back through time to impregnate you with humanity's savior!" routine. If the artist had had the idea of tables fucking today instead of in 1990, we suspect he would have written an Internet fanfic instead. Cabanyes spends most days in the forest working on new statues, presumably when he's not hiding in the trees, spying on his guests and furiously masturbating. How much do you want to bet he's seen at least one over-enthusiastic patron of the arts fuck his work?

Lluís Reverter, Bosc de Can Ginebreda Hell, Goatse here is just asking for it.

#3. The Gaping Vaginas of Sheela Na Gigs

Sheela Na Gig Project

Spain doesn't hold a monopoly on pornographic church art, because an idea that crazy can't be contained. Sheela na gigs are carvings of women showing off enlarged vulvae (usually with an incredibly unsubtle "come hither" look) found in a variety of countries, although they're most common in England and Ireland. The most well-preserved and famous is at Kilpeck Church near the tiny British town of Hereford, which on the scale of things for your town to be famous for ranks just above having a name that translates to an English profanity. Her disturbingly impish face can be found on replicas and pendants, because apparently people will pay money to wear crude images of a woman with E.T.'s head sticking her hands in her huge vagina.

Sheela Na Gig Project Which is crazy. They can visit E.T. fist fetish websites for free.

The sheela na gig in the even tinier village of Oaksey is notable for having sagging boobs and a ridiculously enlarged clitoral hood, because apparently size does matter for women, just not in the way we all thought. Hey, when you live in a village of less than 500 people, you've got to get your entertainment somehow.

Sheela Na Gig Project That's why long skirts used to be so popular: to cover ankle-length labia.

Speaking of clitorises (clitorii?), Ely Cathedral's sheela na gig is known for being perhaps the only one with a fun button that's still intact. That may explain why she appears to be in the middle of masturbating.

Sheela Na Gig Project It's been 700 years, but she's about to get off any second now.

The most common theory as to why so many British churches have hardcore pornography carved into them is that they're a holdover from the Celtic worship of a pagan goddess. The gaping vagina symbolizes her role as a goddess of fertility, because subtlety hadn't been invented yet. It's also possible that they, like the Spanish church carvings, were designed to educate the population on the dangers of lust, although so many of these ladies seem to be enjoying themselves that we find it hard to take that theory seriously. If anything, they may have helped confused young churchgoers navigate a very special time in their lives. Then there's the theory that they were meant to ward off evil, because ... demons hate vaginas? We guess? Yeah, we find it hard to believe that a naked lady practically begging to get some action would scare off any man, demon or not.

Sheela Na Gig Project Although the theory does put a new spin on that crucifix scene in The Exorcist.

The sheela na gig isn't limited to Europe. Its Asian cousins, which represent the goddess Lajja Gauri, can be found across India and Nepal.

K.S. Park Sometimes depicted with goats, which needs no explanation.

Often the head would be replaced with a lotus flower because it's a symbol of fertility, and because even ancient artists knew that when men look at pornography, they aren't checking out the faces.

Archaeological Survey of India Lajja's films simply credit her as "she who crouches with legs spread."

#2. The Skyward Erections of Stoivadeion

Geraki/Wikimedia

As the God of War games taught us, Greece has a rich mythological history. Ancient religious shrines are to the island of Delos what meth labs are to the Midwest, and no shrine is more memorable than the Stoivadeion, a temple of Dionysus. That's because at first glance Dionysus appears to be the god of giant boners. http://youtu.be/7B9hoHfRBy8 There are more dicks in the Stoivadeion than in a men's locker room. Dionysus (Roman name Bacchus) was the god of wine, transformation (both literal and the kind that comes from drinking too much wine), pleasure, and the general practice of getting drunk, partying it up all night, and wondering where the hell you are when you wake up with a splitting headache in an unfamiliar bed the next morning. For obvious reasons, festivals dedicated to Dionysus were the most popular parties on the block. The biggest festival, the Great Dionysia, featured plenty of dramatic and comedic plays, along with a parade of phallic symbols. Some scholars believe that the Greeks and Romans considered penises to be a symbol of protection against evil, so if a hobo ever flashes you in the park, maybe he's just trying to guard you from harm.

Gradiva/Wikimedia Stone cocks can protect anything -- except for themselves. Alas!

Then there were the Dionysian Mysteries, a ritual performed by a cult of Dionysus. While its specifics and their meaning have been muddled by history, it boils down to everyone getting trashed on wine, dancing around a lot, and generally going nuts. The ritual was especially important to women, which kind of makes the worshipers of Dionysus the ancient equivalent of woo girls. With all of that debauchery in mind, it's no surprise that big ol' boners ended up being one of Dionysus' symbols. Even the penises have penises: Look closely at this column and you'll notice that it features a carving of a rooster that's had its head replaced by a, er, cock.

PhattyFatt/Wikimedia It's a pun on "cock." And "white meat." And "choke the chicken." And "dickhead."

Although Dionysus' statues are crumbling, his influence remains -- scholars have noted that Christianity features many parallels with the Dionysus cult, including the use of wine and bread in rituals and the worship of a god who died and came to back to life. Man, if the giant boner aspect had been carried over too, going to church would be a lot more interesting.

#1. The Human/Animal Orgies at the Temples of Khajuraho

Obeid/Panoramio

Khajuraho is an ancient Indian temple city that was built between 950 and 1050. Only 20 of its 85 temples survive, but their gorgeous carvings are more than enough for tourists to feast their eyes on. Those that have survived the ravages of time are rightfully considered to be masterpieces of Indian art. Khajuraho has even been made a UNESCO Heritage Site because, simply put, where else could you see a man fucking a donkey in such exquisite detail?

Georgios Giannopoulos We're with you, horrified guy in the back.

While many of the carvings are religious or display mundane scenes of secular life, others are scenes right out of the Kama Sutra. For instance, here is a standard orgy:

Shunya.net Or, alternatively, the sexiest wheelchair in history.

And while we're not entirely sure what's going on below, it's definitely dirty.

Shunya.net Only if you let it make you feel guilty.

Every sex act that you can imagine, and some that you can't, is depicted on the walls. Why? Because these temples were built by the Chandella dynasty, which followed tantric doctrines. They believed that male and female couldn't exist without each other, that everything in life depended on balance and harmony between them, and that this was best communicated through the metaphor of hardcore fucking.

via Shunya The midget licking your thigh represents faith.

As you may have picked up on, society at the time was very open about sex. Sexual intercourse was seen as a spiritual experience, which probably led to a whole lot of bad pickup lines and suspicious justifications. "Look, baby, I'm OK with not doing anal, but the cosmic balance is demanding it!"
Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_20809_5-unexpectedly-perverted-tourist-attractions-nsfw-pics_p2.html#ixzz2pUXbDLw1

Nude Yoga on Tonight's agenda and yours?

The Treasure of Human Body

The human body is complex and beautiful. It gives you pleasure and pain, and it is both strong and fragile. While we all come into this world wearing nothing, nudity is one of the strongest taboos that have ever existed in our society. We cover and protect our own bodies, but do we really cherish them?

Nude yoga is a form of yoga practice that accentuates the perfection of the human body. It teaches to understand, appreciate, and cherish your physique. It’s the simplest and most natural way to start a healthier and happier life by learning the techniques of gentle workout and meditation.

Nude yoga isn’t mainstream and it really isn’t for everyone, but it can turn you into an artist who rediscovers and rebuilds his body beautiful.

http://youtu.be/Tv73udbijmY source: http://nudeyoga.org.uk/ Post by: HeatherB

Mutha Fucka should be honored!

Kids Dig Up Corpse To Make Skull Bong | Geekologie  "They didn't try to have sex with it, but they did remove the skull to make a bong." -  Seeing as how the creator of this thing we now know as Ganja Vibes is a Texan, it would only be fitting if this was her dead Grandfather's skull. Hey, one can dream, right? Kids Dig Up Corpse To Make Skull Bong | Geekologie.

This is the most gorgeous body horror you’ll ever watch

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/37848135 w=398&h=224] BY CYRIAQUE LAMAR When your mind turns to body horror, you generally think of tentacles and geysers of bloods, not garlands and bursts of twinkling confetti. But indeed, that is what precipitates in director Andrew Thomas Huang's experimental fantasy film Solipsist. Human flesh evolves into living dreamcatchers and eddies of colored sand. It is equal parts stunning and utterly bizarre. Solipsist, which was funded via Kickstarter, won the Special Jury Prize for Experimental Short at the 2012 Slamdance Film Festival. You can also watch a making-of reel if the flamboyant effects have piqued your interest. Here's the synopsis, but "Tetsuo's final scene from Akira + Mardi Gras" may be just as apt: A three part psychedelic fantasy short film about otherworldly beings whose minds and bodies converge into one entity. Filled with elaborate costumes, visual effects, and underwater puppets, the film is a non-narrative experience designed to transport viewers through a hypnotic, dream-like journey. Find the original post: http://io9.com/5891265/this-is-the-most-gorgeous-body-horror-youll-ever-watch

'Everybody must get stoned' ~ Bob Dylan

http://www.physorg.com/ U.S. and Brazilian scientists have just proven that one of Bob Dylan's most famous lines—"everybody must get stoned"— is correct. That's because they've discovered that the brain manufactures proteins that act like marijuana at specific receptors in the brain itself. This discovery, published online in The FASEB Journal, may lead to new marijuana-like drugs for managing pain, stimulating appetite, and preventing marijuana abuse. Studies show that the release of the body's own marijuana-like compounds is crucial to stress-induced analgesia the body's way of initially shielding pain after a serious injury. Cannabinoid compounds have been shown to inhibit the growth of tumour cells in culture and animal models by modulating key cell-signalling pathways. Scientists from Hungary, Germany and the U.K. have discovered that our own body not only makes chemical compounds similar to the active ingredient in marijuana (THC), but these play an important part in maintaining healthy skin. This finding on "endocannabinoids" just published online in, and scheduled for the October 2008 print issue of, The FASEB Journal could lead to new drugs that treat skin conditions ranging from acne to dry skin, and even skin-related tumors. "Our preclinical data encourage one to explore whether endocannabinoid system-acting agents can be exploited in the management of common skin disorders," said Tamás Biró, MD, PhD, a senior scientist involved in the research. "It is also suggested that these agents can be efficiently applied locally to the skin in the form of a cream." Biró and colleagues came to this conclusion by treating cell cultures from human sebaceous glands (the glands that make the oil on our skin) with various concentrations of endocannabinoids (substances produced by the body that are similar to the active ingredient in marijuana). Then they measured the production of lipids (fat cells, such as those in skin oil), cell survival and death, and changes in gene expression and compared these outcomes to those in an untreated control group. "This research shows that we may have something in common with the marijuana plant," said Gerald Weissmann, MD. "Just as THC is believed to protect the marijuana plants from pathogens, our own cannabinoids may be necessary for us to maintain healthy skin and to protect us from pathogens ." http://www.erowid.org/plants/cannabis/cannabis_pharmacology2.shtml Cannabinoid receptors The CB1 receptor The CB2 receptor The possibility of CBn receptors Endocannabinoids Anandamide 2-arachidonoyl-glycerol Palmitoyl-ethanolamide Docosatetraenylethanolamide and Homo-g-linoenylethanolamide Oleamide Some Proposed roles of the endogenous cannabinoid system Learning and synaptic plasticity Pain Vision Neuroprotection Allergy and regulation of inflammation Reproduction Source: Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology