Insecurity or addiction?

They say the first year of marriage is the toughest... A gorgeous newly wed friend of mine reached out to me and without knowing much about her relationship dynamics or the two very personally much anymore now, these were my two cents. Please share yours. With high volume porn streaming so readily available to the voyeurs of the world, it's slightly archaic to stick to the mindset of "porn is negative". We ain't no bible thumpers round here, but we do keep it classy when it comes to exploring fantasy to the fullest extent or polyamorous arrangements. When choosing your mate it's imperative to be as real as you come. Otherwise, the long-term won't be pleasant or enriching. It will be straining and deflating. One thing that should never be introduced into any sexual relationship is Shame. Every emotion after inevitably and unfortunately will be adversarial until all is forgiven and forgotten. It's tough, the strong survive and remember all these emotions come from the place of wanting love and wanting to share your love....so be real with what you're truly needing and get it before all is lost. The communication (sorry for the strange font size change; I screenshot and edited to post): ~HeatherB source

Pornography Is A Drug

During porn viewing, the brain releases a tidal wave of endorphins and other powerful neurochemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. These natural “drugs” produce a tremendous rush or high. All over the world people are using pornography as a drug-of-choice for escape and self-medication. Candeo will show you the truth about your “brain-chemical” addiction and exactly how to break free. Get the free white paper

Willpower & Avoidance Only Make It Worse!

Most people believe that “just trying harder” and exercising “more willpower” is the answer to overcoming porn addiction. This is the worst advice possible! You’ve got to learn how to “work with your brain” instead of “fighting against it.” Everything you need to break free is already built into the very structure of your brain–the same type of brain process that got you into this mess, can help get you out.

You Can Literally Change Your Brain

Over time, porn use alters your brain circuitry and traps you in addiction. The good news is, your brain is “neuro-plastic” meaning that it’s literally moldable and changeable. In other words, you’re not stuck with your old addiction circuitry. Once an addict, always an addict is FALSE!

Addicted: Why Do People Get Hooked? In essence, the article traces aspects of all addictions to the dopamine system in the brain. Here is an excerpt from the article with some of my comments in parenthesis: “Imagine you are taking a slug of whiskey. a puff of a cigarette. A toke of marijuana. A snort of cocaine. A shot of heroin. Put aside whether these drugs are legal or illegal. Concentrate, for now, on the chemistry. The moment you take that slug, that puff, that toke, that snort, that shot, trillions of potent molecules surge through your bloodstream and into your brain. Once there, they set off a cascade of chemical and electrical events, a kind of neurological chain reaction that ricochets around the skull and rearranges the interior reality of the mind.” “Given the complexity of these events–and the inner workings of the mind in general–it’s not surprising that scientists have struggled mightily to make sense of the mechanisms of addiction. Why do certain substances have the power to make us feel so good (at least at first)? Why do some people fall so easily into the thrall of alcohol, cocaine, nicotine and other addictive substances, while others can, literally, take them or leave them?” “The answer, many scientists are convinced, may be simpler than anyone has dared imagine. What ties all these mood-altering drugs together, they say, is a remarkable ability to elevate levels of a common substance in the brain called dopamine. In fact, so overwhelming has evidence of the link between dopamine and drugs of abuse become that the distinction (pushed primarily by the tobacco industry and its supporters) between substances that are addictive and those that are merely habit-forming has very nearly been swept away.” (The claim that “I’m not addicted, it’s just a harmless habit,” doesn’t hold water!) “The Liggett Group, smallest of the U.S.’s Big Five cigarette makers, broke ranks in March and conceded not only that tobacco is addictive but also that the company has known it all along. While RJR Nabisco and the others continue to battle in the courts–insisting that smokers are not hooked, just exercising free choice–their denials ring increasingly hollow in the face of the growing weight of evidence. Over the past year, several scientific groups have made the case that in dopamine-rich areas of the brain, nicotine behaves remarkably like cocaine. (We also know that porn affects the brain in ways similar to cocaine.) And late last week a federal judge ruled for the first time that the Food and Drug Administration has the right to regulate tobacco as a drug and cigarettes as drug-delivery devices.” “Now, a team of researchers led by psychiatrist Dr. Nora Volkow of the Brookhaven National Laboratory in New York has published the strongest evidence to date that the surge of dopamine in addicts’ brains is what triggers a cocaine high. In last week’s edition of the journal Nature they described how powerful brain-imaging technology can be used to track the rise of dopamine and link it to feelings of euphoria.” “Like serotonin (the brain chemical affected by such antidepressants as Prozac), dopamine is a neurotransmitter–a molecule that ferries messages from one neuron within the brain to another. Serotonin is associated with feelings of sadness and well-being, dopamine with pleasure and elation. Dopamine can be elevated by a hug, a kiss, a word of praise or a winning poker hand–as well as by the potent pleasures that come from drugs.” (Porn highly elevates dopamine levels.) “The idea that a single chemical could be associated with everything from snorting cocaine and smoking tobacco to getting good grades and enjoying sex (porn viewing mimics the sex act–the brain believes it is literally having sex) has electrified scientists and changed the way they look at a wide range of dependencies, chemical and otherwise. Dopamine, they now believe, is not just a chemical that transmits pleasure signals but may, in fact, be the master molecule of addiction.” (All addictions have a commonality–feelings of pleasure and euphoria triggered by dopamine in the brain.) “This is not to say dopamine is the only chemical involved or that the deranged thought processes that mark chronic drug abuse are due to dopamine alone. The brain is subtler than that. Drugs modulate the activity of a variety of brain chemicals, each of which intersects with many others. “Drugs are like sledgehammers,” observes Dr. Eric Nestler of the Yale University School of Medicine. “They profoundly alter many pathways.” (In addition to dopamine processes, Porn alters many areas of the brain.) “For nearly a quarter-century the U.S. has been waging a war on drugs, with little apparent success. As scientists learn more about how dopamine works (and how drugs work on it), the evidence suggests that we may be fighting the wrong battle. Americans tend to think of drug addiction as a failure of character. (You just need more will-power; you’re not trying hard enough.) But this stereotype is beginning to give way to the recognition that drug dependence has a clear biological basis. “Addiction,” declares Brookhaven’s Volkow, “is a disorder of the brain no different from other forms of mental illness.” (We now know that pornography, like other chemical addictions, radically alters the brain and is a mental health issue.) “That new insight may be the dopamine hypothesis’ most important contribution in the fight against drugs. It completes the loop between the mechanism of addiction and programs for treatment. And it raises hope for more effective therapies. Abstinence, if maintained, not only halts the physical and psychological damage wrought by drugs but in large measure also reverses it.” This last sentence is the one I really want to call you attention to, because it is exactly what we are seeing with porn addiction recovery–addiction circuitry in the brain can be reversed, and healthy circuitry restored! To illustrate this fact, here is another Time Magazine article I found. This one is from 2007 and actually proves what the 1997 article claimed in regard to the addict brain returning to normal over time. Go to the following web page: http://www.time.com/time/2007/addiction/ Click on the tab “Addiction and Brain Activity.” You will notice a brain scan image showing the activity in a non-addict brain. As you move the slider to the right, a scan image shows the brain of a cocaine addict 10 days after cocaine use stops. Notice how little activity there is in the frontal lobe of the brain–the place where logic, willpower and self-control reside. Now, as you move the slider to the far right, the scan shows the addict brain 100 days after cocaine use has ceased. Look at how much the activity in the front lobes has increased! And that is after just 100 days! The wonderful news is this brain change is not just a reality with recovering cocaine addicts, but with all addictions–including pornography addiction! The porn addicted brain can be changed and healed!

Read more http://prafulla.net/quick-tips/assorted-tips/pornography-addiction-in-america-infographic/

Gallery: SweetDee7

The Gorgeous Sweet Dee

Originally from Oceanside, CA.  This vixen is not only one our first and hottest models we will ever have, but also a photographer, Office Manager and all around badass for our cause.

[caption id="attachment_9722" align="alignright" width="584"] Model: Denessa Sims
Photographer: Heather Schnurr[/caption] [caption id="attachment_9714" align="alignleft" width="300"] Model: Denessa Sims
Photographer: Heather Schnurr[/caption] [caption id="attachment_9718" align="alignright" width="300"] Model: Denessa Sims
Photographer: Heather Schnurr[/caption] [caption id="attachment_9716" align="aligncenter" width="584"] Model: Denessa Sims
Photographer: Heather Schnurr[/caption] http://gifboom.com/x/36793db3 Photographer: Heather Schnurr; @HeatherBGanjaVibes Model: Denessa Sims; @SweetDee7 All Photos are original content created and owned by: Ganja Vibes; Heather B Ent, LLC

Protect the goods

Roses are red, violets are blue, a hooker can put a condom on a male sexual partner with no hands and so should you! 

Health Benefits of Sex

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

 

Essentials to courtship, the Importance of an Orgasm & Serotonin-enhancing antidepressants

Impact of Sexual Side Effects

DO SEXUAL SIDE EFFECTS OF MOST ANTIDEPRESSANTS JEOPARDIZE ROMANTIC LOVE AND MARRIAGE?, PRESENTED BY HELEN E. FISHER, PHD

Do the sexual side effects of most antidepressants jeopardize romantic love and marriage? Dr. Thompson and I would like to say yes, most likely under some circumstances, but not always. Please don't leave this room thinking that we are opposed to the use of serotonin-enhancing medications. People are different; situations are different. The drugs have been proven to be effective under many circumstances. I'm an anthropologist, not a psychiatrist. What we're trying to do is to bring an interdisciplinary perspective to the table to heighten awareness and add to the dialogue so that we can all learn how to effectively heal our patients better.

Since the release of Prozac (fluoxetine) in 1989, many similar serotonin-enhancing antidepressants have emerged. In fact, the use of these has increased dramatically. In 2002, in the United States alone, 213 million prescriptions for antidepressants were written and indeed most of them were for serotonin-enhancing medications. It's well established that these drugs can cause sexual dysfunction, diminished sexual desire, delayed sexual arousal, and muted or absent orgasm. In fact, some reports say that as many as 73% of patients on some of these medications can suffer from 1 or more of these side effects.

We theorized that these sexual side effects can potentially -- not all the time, but potentially -- have some serious consequences due to the effects that they can have on several evolved, adaptive, unconscious neural mechanisms. These include the ability to attract a mate, to choose a mate, to fall in love, to stay in love, and to sustain a marriage.

In short, it's all connected and when you knock out the sex system, you can jeopardize many other Darwinian mechanisms that evolved millions of years ago to direct courtship, mating, reproduction, and parenting.

Distinct Brain Networks

In 1998, I proposed that Homo sapiens -- indeed, all of the mammalian and avian species -- evolved 3 distinctly different but related brain systems for courtship, mate selecting, reproduction, and parenting. The 3 brain systems I proposed are lust, attraction, and attachment.

Lust is the libido, the sex drive; it's basically the craving for sexual gratification. W.H. Auden once called it an "intolerable neural itch"; Pablo Neruda called it an "eternal thirst" and an "infinite ache." It's simply the craving for sexual gratification; it often has no object. You can feel it when you're sitting in the subway, reading a book, or driving alone in your car; you can feel it really at any time.

The second brain system is attraction or romantic love, also known as being in love, passionate love, obsessive love, or infatuation. This is the one that I've studied myself. My colleagues and I, and several others have now put 40 people who are madly in love into a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) brain scanner, and we've begun to see some of the brain circuitry of romantic love. I'm going to talk a little bit about that.From an anthropological point of view, this is regarded as a universal human phenomenon. In a study of over 150 societies, evidence of it was found in every single one; there was no evidence to the contrary. Everywhere in the world where you look for evidence of romantic love, you find it. Love magic, love poems, love songs, myths, legends, suicide, homicide, and reports from people themselves testify to it. Indeed, the hard data go back almost 4000 years to Sumerian poetry.There are several main traits of romantic love. I've canvassed the psychological literature of the last 25 years, and have, in fact, done a study of my own in Japan and in the United States. Of course we all know it, but here's what happens when you fall in love. The first thing that happens is that a person takes on what we call "special meaning." Indeed, George Bernard Shaw once said, "Love consists of overestimating the differences between one woman and another." Indeed! Then you focus your attention on this person. Most people who are in love can list what they don't like about their sweetheart, but then they sweep that aside and just focus on what they do like. As Chaucer said, "Love is blind." Also involved is intensely heightened energy, elation when things are going well, terrible mood swings when things are going poorly, and an intense motivation to win this preferred individual. There also is something that I call the frustration attraction: when there are real barriers to the relationship, like the person dumps you or they don't call or send you an e-mail or something, you just love them harder. In fact, in Roman times, people knew that phenomenon of frustration attraction.

The most powerful characteristic of romantic love, however, is obsessive thinking. When we put these 40 people into the fMRI machine, the very first question that I asked my subjects was: what percentage of the day and night do you actually think about your partner? The response was 95%: I can't stop thinking about her or him, etc. So you have obsessive thinking, along with a deep dependency on this relationship, and more than any one other characteristic, a craving for emotional union with this individual.

The third of these 3 brain systems that evolved from mating and reproduction is male/female attachment, associated with feelings of calm and contentment and a real sense of emotional union with this long-term partner. In people, as well as in other animals, you have nest building, or home building. Mate guarding is a term we use in anthropology -- I think in psychiatry you would call it jealousy. Finally, you have cooperative parenting, the main point of attachment.

Primary Neurochemicals of Each System

Each of these systems is associated with different primary neurochemicals. Lust is well known to be associated with the androgens in human beings and certainly also with the estrogens in other species.

From our study of the brain, we have some nice evidence that elevated activity of dopamine is involved in that intense sense of passion and arousal of romantic love. I also maintain in my book, Why We Love, that we're going to find out sometime that norepinephrine is also involved, largely because heightened activity of norepinephrine is also associated with focused attention, elevated energy, motivation to win a reward, elation, and 2 characteristics of romantic love -- obsessional following and object imprinting.I also maintain, although we don't have all the evidence for it, that low activity levels of serotonin are going to be involved, largely because the obsessiveness -- the obsessive thinking of romantic love -- is so striking. Indeed, low levels of serotonin are associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder. So that's part of the fingerprint of attraction or romantic love.

Other scientists have done some very elegant work associating basic feelings of attachment with elevated activity of oxytocin and vasopressin.

Distinct Neural Systems

I believe that each one of these 3 systems is a distinct neural system. In the last 3 years, 4 MRI studies of lust were conducted. Men and women were hooked up to a machine and shown erotic pictures followed by pictures of scenery, etc. In 3 out of those 4 MRI studies, researchers showed that the hypothalamus is involved, which you would expect, and 3 out of 4 have shown that the amygdala is involved. Two of the most convincing ones, I think, indicate that the insula cortex is involved, along with many other regions.

Regarding attraction, or romantic love, what we found in our data is that the right ventral tegmental area is involved, along with the right caudate nucleus (dorsal). In fact, we showed a lot of deactivations, as one does prior to the brain turning off, while others turned on. We also found deactivation in the amygdala.

On the left, the ventral tegmental area is shown becoming active when a person attached to the MRI machine looks at a picture of his or her sweetheart. This happens to be the anteromedial portion of the caudate. Several aspects of the dorsal caudate became active, which -- because the ventral tegmental area is involved, as well as dopamine and the caudate -- led us to believe that romantic love is not an emotion; it's basically a motivation system. I believe it's a basic mating drive that evolved millions of years ago. Indeed, I think that this drive is more powerful than the sex drive. You don't kill yourself when you don't get sex. People kill themselves when they don't get the lover that they are looking for, or they kill somebody else.

Attachment, the third brain system, is not well mapped out yet; certainly the hypothalamic-pituitary axis would be involved because there's so much oxytocin and vasopressin in parts of the hypothalamus. The substantia nigra has a high density of oxytocin and vasopressin receptors, so that's likely to be involved. In a new study of mother/infant attachment -- not male/female attachment, but mother/infant attachment -- researchers found activity in the medial insular, the anterior cingulate, and the lateral orbitofrontal cortex. So as a matter of fact, many parts of the frontal cortex are going to be involved in all 3 of these systems because we think as we feel.

The point is that each system is distinct; they have different feelings, they have different behavior patterns, and I think they each have a different role in human reproduction. I think the sex drive evolved to get us out there looking for really basically anything at all, anything that was remotely appropriate. Romantic love enabled us to focus our mating energy on just 1 mate at a time, thereby conserving mating time and energy. Attachment evolved to enable us to tolerate this individual, really, at least long enough to raise our children as a team.

But I believe they are all primary mating drives; I think they vary from one species to another. A rat seems to show attraction for a very brief period of time; human beings can be in love for months or years. These systems certainly vary from one individual to another. Some people have a much higher sex drive than others. Some people fall in love all the time; others do not. Indeed they vary over the life course.

Interaction of These Systems

The point here is that these 3 brain systems interact and there are many ways in which they interact, but I'm going to stick to just the positive relationship between the sex drive and attraction. You know the feeling, if you've fallen in love -- and everybody I would guess has been in love probably more than once. Suddenly the person that you're in love with becomes intensely sexually attractive to you. Three weeks ago, you didn't notice anything. He or she was a nice person; you liked this person very much. Suddenly, the way he or she moves or smiles at you is intensely sexually attractive. I think that this is at least in part because an elevated activity of dopamine and norepinephrine can stimulate testosterone, the hormone of desire. In short, the biology of romantic love can stimulate lust.Can the reverse be true? Can you be copulating with somebody who's just a friend and then suddenly fall in love with him or her? Not always. Most adults in the Western world have copulated with just a friend and have never fallen in love with him or her. I've got 4 middle-aged friends who either inject testosterone or use testosterone patches; they don't fall in love 36 hours after they've used them. But I do actually have 3 cases of friends who have told me that they have suddenly fallen madly in love with somebody that they were just copulating with as a friend. I don't understand the physiology of this, but I can report that, indeed, an elevated activity of testosterone does stimulate dopamine and norepinephrine. As a matter of fact, it not only stimulates dopamine and norepinephrine, but it suppresses the activity of serotonin, in short creating the ratio of monoamines associated with romantic love. This is one of the reasons that I say to my students: now don't copulate withpeople you don't want to fall in love with because it may just happen to you!

The bottom line is that serotonin-enhancing antidepressants that negatively affect this sex drive can quite logically also negatively affect the brain circuits for romantic love.

Serotonin-enhancing antidepressants cannot only potentially inhibit dopamine and norepinephrine, they can also blunt the emotions. This is why people take them; I'm certainly for that. If you're suffering terribly, it's the time to try to blunt the emotions. Nevertheless, they are going to have an effect on the elation of romantic love. Serotonin-enhancing antidepressants also suppress obsessive thinking, which is a very central component of romantic love. There are many examples of how these things are affected by each other. In 1 case collected by Thompson, a 20-year-old single white woman had an eating disorder. She was suffering from recurrent depression, she had attention deficit disorder, and she was taking high doses of serotonin-enhancing medication. When she was asked about the side effects of this, she said, "No, no, I don't have any." Then she said reluctantly to the doctor, "But I find myself wanting more space; there just isn't that much attraction." Romantic love is acentral aspect of human reproductive planning. It enables the human animal to focus courtship energy on avidly pursuing a particular partner and beginning the breeding process. When you inhibit this brain system, you can potentially -- not always -- inhibit the patient's psychologic well being and I think his or her genetic future.

Evolutionary Inhibitions

Serotonin-enhancing antidepressants can inhibit other evolutionarily adaptive mechanisms for mate selection.

One of them is orgasm; it inhibits orgasm and clitoral stimulation, but let's focus on orgasm. With orgasm, one of the main things that happens is that levels of oxytocin and vasopressin go up enormously in the brain. These are feel-good chemicals. They're associated with social bonding, pair formation, and pair maintenance. So when men and women take serotonin-enhancing medications and fail to achieve orgasm, they can fail to stimulate not only themselves, but their partners as well. This neural mechanism, associated with partner attachment, becomes a failed trigger.From a Darwinian perspective, orgasm also is a primary mechanism by which women unconsciously assess a mating partner. For a long time, anthropologists have thought that this is a bad design; women just don't have an orgasm every time. More recently, we came to realize that. We call it the 'fickle female orgasm' and we regard it now as a very serious adaptive mechanism that enables women to distinguish between those partners who are willing to spend time and energy on them -- those we call Mr. Right -- and those who are impatient or lack empathy and who might not be a good husband and father -- Mr. Wrong. When women take serotonin-enhancing antidepressants that inhibit the orgasmic response, among some of these women you're jeopardizing the ability to assess the commitment level of a partner. Women also use orgasm to assess existing partnerships; women tend to orgasm more regularly with a long-term partner. With the onset of anorgasmia, this can destabilize a match.A good example of this is once again a case study collected by Thompson, involving a 35-year-old married woman. She had recurrent depression and anxiety disorder. She was taking a serotonin-enhancing medication, which diminished her libido, and she had absent orgasm. She once apparently said, "I think I no longer love my husband." Then she switched to an antidepressant that had no side effects; her normal sex drive and normal orgasmic response returned and indeed she decided not to divorce her husband. She was thinking of divorcing him and now they have a small child. In this way, drugs can affect your biologic future. These systems are very old. Orgasm and clitoral stimulation are very primitive ways in which women measure men. Like drugs that blur your vision, serotonin-enhancing medications can potentially blur a woman's ability to evaluate mating partners, to fall in love, and to sustain an enduring partnership.

These medications also inhibit penile erection in some men. We regard the penis as an internal courtship device; actually we call it an entertainment system, in my business. It is designed to attract and keep women. With no penile erection, a man has less of a chance of doing that. The penis also is regarded as a fitness indicator -- an anthropology term -- because the penis advertises medical health, psychologic health, and physical fitness. When men take serotonin-enhancing medications that produce impotence, the medications can cripple these vital courtship-signaling functions. Penile erection also has antidepressant qualities; this work comes from a friend of mine and his colleagues from 2002.

The researchers looked at the contents of seminal fluid and, as it turns out, it contains dopamine and norepinephrine, associated with romantic love; oxytocin and vasopressin, associated with attachment; testosterone and estrogen, associated with lust; and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH), associated with regular cycling. Without orgasm, men are deprived of these courtship mechanisms. In fact, the same researchers also did a study of seminal fluid and found out that it actually does have regular antidepressant qualities. Those women who were directly exposed to it were less depressed than those who used condoms. I'm not recommending it; I'm simply reporting the data. But when men fail to ejaculate due to antidepressant drugs, they jeopardize their ability to adjust a woman's mood as well as to send important courtship signals. All male animals have evolved a host of courtship devices in order to capture females. Indeed, some of those most importantones can be jeopardized by taking antidepressant drugs.

Psychologic Inhibitions

Serotonin-enhancing antidepressants can also inhibit psychologic mechanisms for mate choice.

Motivation, discrimination -- deciding which person walking through a room is just more attractive to talk to -- and one's self-esteem all are important aspects of one's psychologic well being. The most interesting, I think, are the first 2. In the case of motivation, in one study, a 25-year-old man had had some long-term intimate successful relationships with women. He recounted having a panic disorder and taking serotonin-enhancing medications, and reported that he "just stopped dating."

In another very interesting study, Fisher reported that she was interested in knowing whether serotonin-enhancing medications could actually make a change in unconscious psychologic mechanisms that we use to look at a room of people and decide who is or is not attractive to us. She asked 20 women who were on serotonin-enhancing medications and 20 women who were on no medications to sit in front of a computer and rate the faces of men. Those women who were on the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) rated the male faces as more unattractive and also looked at and appraised the faces for a shorter period of time. I don't know if it's her term or not, but she called it 'courtship blunting.' There seemed to be any number of examples of this. In one case, a 54-year-old man in the healthcare business reported, after using serotonin-enhancing antidepressants, "It's like the lens I use to look at the world has been changed." A 45-year-old married woman said, "It's like being handicapped; like being blind."

This reads, "Brad, talk to me -- animal to animal." We are animals. As one psychiatrist once wrote: one of the relics of early man is modern man. The brain is built in many ways to aid reproduction and I think we might find many ways in which serotonin-enhancing antidepressants and perhaps many other drugs subtly affect the way men and women discriminate between mates, choose mates, feel romantic love, and feel marital attachment.

Adaptive Mechanism of Depression and Conclusion

I want to conclude with one more very subtle effect. It's the effect that serotonin-enhancing medications can have on depression. If a patient were going to commit suicide, I'd be the first person to say, "For God's sake, take some medication." I want to repeat again: we are not in the business of saying who should use or who should not use these medications. We're only trying to add to the dialogue some interdisciplinary understanding.

Evolutionists have now come to begin to think that depression actually has some adaptive features. When you think about it, it's very expensive metabolically and socially to be extremely depressed. Various scientists have offered explanations of why this brain system could suddenly have evolved. Of all of them, the one I want to mention -- because it impressed me most -- was that of an anthropologist, 2 biologists, and a psychiatrist. These researchers noted that depression is very socially and metabolically costly. They reasoned that the costs of depression are probably its benefits, that depression in itself is a clear, honest signal that something is really wrong. In fact, it's an extortionary mechanism by which one sends out the signals of real need to get social support. It also gives insight, as one of my psychologist friends says: it's a failure of denial when you're totally depressed. Indeed, mildly depressed people often make clearer assessments of themselves and others.To paraphrase Aeschylus, with this pain comes wisdom.I believe that masking depression can, at times, and under some circumstances, have serious social and genetic consequences. The classic example is that of the woman who says, "I've been on this medication for several years and I feel much better, but I'm still married to the same abusive alcoholic man." The SSRIs may chemically confine patients to bad relationships as well as hinder the ability to attract and fall in love with a better mate.

I'm going to say it again: we are not recommending that patients who are seriously psychologically ill refrain from taking serotonin-enhancing antidepressants. Indeed, we're learning more and more about them. Sometimes people say they can contribute to suicide and clearly they can also save lives.

What we're trying to say is that these medications affect the threshold of other biologic mechanisms and at times can jeopardize unconscious evolutionary mechanisms for mate selection, for romantic love, and for attachment.

This creates the potential for jeopardizing a patient's personal, social, and genetic future.

Source: http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/482059

Cancer and Sexual Health

Sexuality is a complex characteristic that involves the physical, psychological, interpersonal, and behavioral aspects of a person. Recognizing that "normal" sexual functioning covers a wide range is important. Ultimately, sexuality is defined by each patient and his/her partner according to sex, age, personal attitudes, and religious and cultural values. Many types of cancer and cancer therapies can cause sexual dysfunction. Research shows that approximately 50% of women who have been treated for breast and gynecologic cancers experience long-term sexual dysfunction. Nearly 70% of men who have been treated for prostate cancer experience long-term sexual dysfunction. An individual's sexual response can be affected in many ways. The causes of sexual dysfunction are often both physical and psychological. The most common sexual problems for people who have cancer are loss of desire for sexual activity in both men and women, problems achieving and maintaining an erection in men, and pain with intercourse in women. Men may also experience inability to ejaculate, ejaculation going backward into the bladder, or the inability to reach orgasm. Women may experience a change in genital sensations due to pain, loss of sensation and numbness, or decreased ability to reach orgasm. Most often, both men and women are still able to reach orgasm, however, it may be delayed due to medications and/or anxiety. Unlike many other physical side effects of cancer treatment, sexual problems may not resolve within the first year or two of disease-free survival and can interfere with the return to a normal life. Patients recovering from cancer should discuss their concerns about sexual problems with a health care professional. Factors Affecting Sexual Function in People With Cancer Both physical and psychological factors contribute to the development of sexual dysfunction. Physical factors include loss of function due to the effects of cancer therapies, fatigue, and pain. Surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy may have a direct physical impact on sexual function. Other factors that may contribute to sexual dysfunction include pain medications, depression, feelings of guilt from misbeliefs about the origin of the cancer, changes in body image after surgery, and stresses due to personal relationships. Getting older is often associated with a decrease in sexual desire and performance, however, sex may be important to the older person's quality of life and the loss of sexual function can be distressing. Surgery-Related Factors Surgery can directly affect sexual function. Factors that help predict a patient's sexual function after surgery include age, sexual and bladder function before surgery, tumor location and size, and how much tissue was removed during surgery. Surgeries that affect sexual function include breast cancer, colorectal cancer, prostate cancer, and other pelvic tumors. Breast Cancer Sexual function after breast cancer surgery has been the subject of much research. Surgery to save or reconstruct the breast appears to have little effect on sexual function compared with surgery to remove the whole breast. Women who have surgery to save the breast are more likely to continue to enjoy breast caressing, but there is no difference in areas such as how often women have sex, the ease of reaching orgasm, or overall sexual satisfaction. Colorectal Cancer Sexual and bladder dysfunctions are common complications of surgery for rectal cancer. The main cause of problems with erection, ejaculation, and orgasm is injury to nerves in the pelvic cavity. Nerves can be damaged when their blood supply is disrupted or when the nerves are cut. Prostate Cancer Newer nerve-sparing techniques for radical prostatectomy are being debated as a more successful approach for preserving erectile function than radiation therapy for prostate cancer. Long-term follow-up is needed to compare the effects of surgery with the effects of radiation therapy. Recovery of erectile function usually occurs within a year after having a radical prostatectomy. The effects of radiation therapy on erectile function are very slow and gradual occurring for two or three years after treatment. The cause of loss of erectile function differs between surgery and radiation therapy. Radical prostatectomy damages nerves that make blood vessels open wider to allow more blood into the penis. Eventually the tissue does not get enough oxygen, cells die, and scar tissue forms that interferes with erectile function. Radiation therapy appears to damage the arteries that bring blood to the penis. Other Pelvic Tumors Men who have surgery to remove the bladder, colon, and/or rectum may improve recovery of erectile function if nerve-sparing surgical techniques are used. The sexual side effects of radiation therapy for pelvic tumors are similar to those after prostate cancer treatment. Women who have surgery to remove the uterus, ovaries, bladder, or other organs in the abdomen or pelvis may experience pain and loss of sexual function depending on the amount of tissue/organ removed. With counseling and other medical treatments, these patients may regain normal sensation in the vagina and genital areas and be able to have pain-free intercourse and reach orgasm. Chemotherapy-Related Factors Chemotherapy is associated with a loss of desire and decreased frequency of intercourse for both men and women. The common side effects of chemotherapy such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, mucositis, weight loss or gain, and loss of hair can affect an individual's sexual self-image and make him or her feel unattractive. For women, chemotherapy may cause vaginal dryness, pain with intercourse, and decreased ability to reach orgasm. In older women, chemotherapy may increase the risk of ovarian cancer. Chemotherapy may also cause a sudden loss of estrogen production from the ovaries. The loss of estrogen can cause shrinking, thinning, and loss of elasticity of the vagina, vaginal dryness, hot flashes, urinary tract infections, mood swings, fatigue, and irritability. Young women who have breast cancer and have had surgeries such as removal of one or both ovaries, may experience symptoms related to loss of estrogen. These women experience high rates of sexual problems since there is a concern that estrogen replacement therapy, which may decrease these symptoms, could cause the breast cancer to return. For women with other types of cancer, however, estrogen replacement therapy can usually resolve many sexual problems. Also, women who have graft-versus-host disease (a reaction of donated bone marrow or peripheral stem cells against a person's tissue) following bone marrow transplantation may develop scar tissue and narrowing of the vagina that can interfere with intercourse. For men, sexual problems such as loss of desire and erectile dysfunction are more common after a bone marrow transplant because of graft-versus-host disease or nerve damage. Occasionally chemotherapy may interfere with testosterone production in the testicles. Testosterone replacement may be necessary to regain sexual function. Radiation Therapy-Related Factors Like chemotherapy, radiation therapy can cause side effects such as fatigue, nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, and other symptoms that can decrease feelings of sexuality. In women, radiation therapy to the pelvis can cause changes in the lining of the vagina. These changes eventually cause a narrowing of the vagina and formation of scar tissue that results in pain with intercourse, infertility and other long term sexual problems. Women should discuss concerns about these side effects with their doctor and ask about the use of a vaginal dilator. For men, radiation therapy can cause problems with getting and keeping an erection. The exact cause of sexual problems after radiation therapy is unknown. Possible causes are nerve injury, a blockage of blood supply to the penis, or decreased levels of testosterone. Sexual changes occur very slowly over a period of six months to one year after radiation therapy. Men who had problems with erectile dysfunction before getting cancer have a greater risk of developing sexual problems after cancer diagnosis and treatment. Other risk factors that can contribute to a greater risk of sexual problems in men are cigarette smoking, history of heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes. Hormone Therapy-Related Factors Hormone therapy for prostate cancer can decrease normal hormone levels and cause a decrease in sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, and problems reaching orgasm. Younger men do not always experience the same degree of sexual dysfunction. Some treatment centers are experimenting with delayed or intermittent hormone therapy to prevent sexual problems. It is not yet known if these modified treatments affect the long-term survival of younger men. The effects of tamoxifen on the sexuality and mood of women who have breast cancer are not clearly understood. Psychological Factors Patients recovering from cancer often have anxiety or guilt that previous sexual activities may have caused their cancer. Some patients believe that sexual activity may cause the cancer to return or pass the cancer to their partner. Discussing their feelings and concerns with a health care professional is important for patients. Misbeliefs can be corrected and patients can be reassured that cancer is not passed on through sexual contact. Loss of sexual desire and a decrease in sexual pleasure are common symptoms of depression. Depression is more common in patients with cancer than in the general healthy population. It is important that patients discuss their feelings with their doctor. Getting treatment for depression may be helpful in relieving sexual problems. Cancer treatments may cause physical changes that affect how an individual sees his or her physical appearance. This view can make a man or woman feel sexually unattractive. It is important that patients discuss these feelings and concerns with a health care professional. Patients can learn how to deal effectively with these problems. The stress of being diagnosed with cancer and undergoing treatment for cancer can make existing problems in relationships even worse. The sexual relationship can also be affected. Patients who do not have a committed relationship may stop dating because they fear being rejected by a potential new partner who learns about their history of cancer. One of the most important factors in adjusting after cancer treatment is the patient's feeling about his or her sexuality before being diagnosed with cancer. If patients had positive feelings about sexuality, they may be more likely to resume sexual activity after treatment for cancer. Assessment of Sexual Function in People with Cancer Sexual function is an important factor that adds to quality of life. Patients should discuss their problems and concerns about sexual function with their doctor. Some doctors may not have the appropriate training to discuss sexual problems. Patients should ask for other information resources or for a referral to a health care professional who is comfortable with discussing sexuality issues. General Factors Affecting Sexual Functioning When a possible sexual problem is identified, the health care professional will do a detailed interview either with the patient alone or with the patient and his or her partner. The patient may be asked any of the following questions about his or her current and past sexual functioning:

• How often do you feel a spontaneous desire to have sex?
• Do you enjoy sex?
• Do you become sexually aroused (for men, are you able to get and keep an erection, or for women, does your vagina expand and become lubricated)?
• Are you able to reach orgasm during sex? What types of stimulation can trigger an orgasm (for example, self-touch, use of a vibrator, shower massage, partner caressing, oral stimulation, or intercourse)?
• Do you have any pain during sex? Where do you feel the pain? What does the pain feel like? What kinds of sexual activity trigger the pain? Does this cause pain every time? How long does the pain last?
• When did your sexual problems begin? Was it around the same time that you were diagnosed with cancer or received treatment for cancer?
• Are you taking any medications? Did you start taking any new medications or did the doctor change the dose of any medications around the time that these sexual problems began?
• What was your sexual functioning like before you were diagnosed with cancer? Did you have any sexual problems before you were diagnosed with cancer?

Psychosocial Aspects of Sexuality Patients may also be asked about the significance of sexuality and relationships whether or not they have a partner. Patients who have a partner may be asked about the length and stability of the relationship before being diagnosed with cancer. They may also be asked about their partner's response to the diagnosis of cancer and if they have any concerns about how their partner may be affected by their treatment. It is important that patients and their partners discuss their sexual problems and concerns and fears about their relationship with a health care professional with whom they feel comfortable. Medical Aspects of Sexuality Patients may be asked about current and past medical history since many medical illnesses can affect sexual function. Lifestyle risk factors such as smoking and high alcohol intake can also affect sexual function as well as prescribed and over-the-counter medications. Patients may be asked to fill out questionnaires to help identify sexual problems and may undergo a variety of physical examinations, blood tests, ultrasound studies, measurement of nighttime erections, and hormone tests. Treatment of Sexual Problems in People with Cancer Many patients are fearful or anxious about their first sexual experience after cancer treatment. Fear and anxiety can cause patients to avoid intimacy, touch, and sexual activity. The partner may also feel fearful or anxious about initiating any activity that might be thought of as pressuring to be intimate or that might cause physical discomfort. Patients and their partners should discuss concerns with their doctor or other qualified health professional. Honest communication of feelings, concerns, and preferences is important. In general, a wide variety of treatment modalities are available for patients with sexual dysfunction after cancer. Patients can learn to adapt to changes in sexual function through reading books, pamphlets, and Internet resources or listening to and watching videos and CD-ROMs. Health professionals who specialize in sexual dysfunction can provide patients with these resources as well as information on national organizations that may provide support. Some patients may need medical intervention such as hormone replacement, medications, or surgery. Patients who have more serious problems may need sexual counseling on an individual basis, with his or her partner, or in a group. Further testing and research is needed to compare the effectiveness of various treatment programs that combine medical and psychological approaches for people who have had cancer. Fertility Issues Radiation therapy and chemotherapy treatments may cause temporary or permanent infertility. These side effects are related to a number of factors including the patient's sex, age at time of treatment, the specific type and dose of radiation therapy and/or chemotherapy, the use of single therapy or many therapies, and length of time since treatment. Chemotherapy For patients receiving chemotherapy, age is an important factor and recovery improves the longer the patient is off chemotherapy. Chemotherapy drugs that have been shown to affect fertility include: busulfan, melphalan, cyclophosphamide, cisplatin, chlorambucil, mustine, carmustine, lomustine, cytarabine, and procarbazine. Radiation For men and women receiving radiation therapy to the abdomen or pelvis, the amount of radiation directly to the testes or ovaries is an important factor. Fertility may be preserved by the use of modern radiation therapy techniques and the use of lead shields to protect the testes. Women may undergo surgery to protect the ovaries by moving them out of the field of radiation. Procreative Alternatives Patients who are concerned about the effects of cancer treatment on their ability to have children should discuss this with their doctor before treatment. The doctor can recommend a counselor or fertility specialist who can discuss available options and help patients and their partners through the decision-making process. Cannabis can help in countless ways. Source: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=21642&page=3

Masturbation, squirting, orgasms etc - My Friday five

http://youtu.be/nraosS0pY6w Masturbation, squirting, orgasms etc - My Friday five.