Ganja Vibes Blog

Insecurity or addiction?

They say the first year of marriage is the toughest... A gorgeous newly wed friend of mine reached out to me and without knowing much about her relationship dynamics or the two very personally much anymore now, these were my two cents. Please share yours. ID-10035090-300x224 With high volume porn streaming so readily available to the voyeurs of the world, it's slightly archaic to stick to the mindset of "porn is negative". We ain't no bible thumpers round here, but we do keep it classy when it comes to exploring fantasy to the fullest extent or polyamorous arrangements. When choosing your mate it's imperative to be as real as you come. Otherwise, the long-term won't be pleasant or enriching. It will be straining and deflating. One thing that should never be introduced into any sexual relationship is Shame. md_2c26a45d126018833527670 Every emotion after inevitably and unfortunately will be adversarial until all is forgiven and forgotten. It's tough, the strong survive and remember all these emotions come from the place of wanting love and wanting to share your love....so be real with what you're truly needing and get it before all is lost. wife-husband-porn The communication (sorry for the strange font size change; I screenshot and edited to post): ~HeatherB Pornography-Addiction-Infographic source

Pornography Is A Drug

During porn viewing, the brain releases a tidal wave of endorphins and other powerful neurochemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. These natural “drugs” produce a tremendous rush or high. All over the world people are using pornography as a drug-of-choice for escape and self-medication. Candeo will show you the truth about your “brain-chemical” addiction and exactly how to break free. Get the free white paper

Willpower & Avoidance Only Make It Worse!

Most people believe that “just trying harder” and exercising “more willpower” is the answer to overcoming porn addiction. This is the worst advice possible! You’ve got to learn how to “work with your brain” instead of “fighting against it.” Everything you need to break free is already built into the very structure of your brain–the same type of brain process that got you into this mess, can help get you out.

You Can Literally Change Your Brain

Over time, porn use alters your brain circuitry and traps you in addiction. The good news is, your brain is “neuro-plastic” meaning that it’s literally moldable and changeable. In other words, you’re not stuck with your old addiction circuitry. Once an addict, always an addict is FALSE!
Addicted: Why Do People Get Hooked? In essence, the article traces aspects of all addictions to the dopamine system in the brain. Here is an excerpt from the article with some of my comments in parenthesis: “Imagine you are taking a slug of whiskey. a puff of a cigarette. A toke of marijuana. A snort of cocaine. A shot of heroin. Put aside whether these drugs are legal or illegal. Concentrate, for now, on the chemistry. The moment you take that slug, that puff, that toke, that snort, that shot, trillions of potent molecules surge through your bloodstream and into your brain. Once there, they set off a cascade of chemical and electrical events, a kind of neurological chain reaction that ricochets around the skull and rearranges the interior reality of the mind.” “Given the complexity of these events–and the inner workings of the mind in general–it’s not surprising that scientists have struggled mightily to make sense of the mechanisms of addiction. Why do certain substances have the power to make us feel so good (at least at first)? Why do some people fall so easily into the thrall of alcohol, cocaine, nicotine and other addictive substances, while others can, literally, take them or leave them?” “The answer, many scientists are convinced, may be simpler than anyone has dared imagine. What ties all these mood-altering drugs together, they say, is a remarkable ability to elevate levels of a common substance in the brain called dopamine. In fact, so overwhelming has evidence of the link between dopamine and drugs of abuse become that the distinction (pushed primarily by the tobacco industry and its supporters) between substances that are addictive and those that are merely habit-forming has very nearly been swept away.” (The claim that “I’m not addicted, it’s just a harmless habit,” doesn’t hold water!) “The Liggett Group, smallest of the U.S.’s Big Five cigarette makers, broke ranks in March and conceded not only that tobacco is addictive but also that the company has known it all along. While RJR Nabisco and the others continue to battle in the courts–insisting that smokers are not hooked, just exercising free choice–their denials ring increasingly hollow in the face of the growing weight of evidence. Over the past year, several scientific groups have made the case that in dopamine-rich areas of the brain, nicotine behaves remarkably like cocaine. (We also know that porn affects the brain in ways similar to cocaine.) And late last week a federal judge ruled for the first time that the Food and Drug Administration has the right to regulate tobacco as a drug and cigarettes as drug-delivery devices.” “Now, a team of researchers led by psychiatrist Dr. Nora Volkow of the Brookhaven National Laboratory in New York has published the strongest evidence to date that the surge of dopamine in addicts’ brains is what triggers a cocaine high. In last week’s edition of the journal Nature they described how powerful brain-imaging technology can be used to track the rise of dopamine and link it to feelings of euphoria.” “Like serotonin (the brain chemical affected by such antidepressants as Prozac), dopamine is a neurotransmitter–a molecule that ferries messages from one neuron within the brain to another. Serotonin is associated with feelings of sadness and well-being, dopamine with pleasure and elation. Dopamine can be elevated by a hug, a kiss, a word of praise or a winning poker hand–as well as by the potent pleasures that come from drugs.” (Porn highly elevates dopamine levels.) “The idea that a single chemical could be associated with everything from snorting cocaine and smoking tobacco to getting good grades and enjoying sex (porn viewing mimics the sex act–the brain believes it is literally having sex) has electrified scientists and changed the way they look at a wide range of dependencies, chemical and otherwise. Dopamine, they now believe, is not just a chemical that transmits pleasure signals but may, in fact, be the master molecule of addiction.” (All addictions have a commonality–feelings of pleasure and euphoria triggered by dopamine in the brain.) “This is not to say dopamine is the only chemical involved or that the deranged thought processes that mark chronic drug abuse are due to dopamine alone. The brain is subtler than that. Drugs modulate the activity of a variety of brain chemicals, each of which intersects with many others. “Drugs are like sledgehammers,” observes Dr. Eric Nestler of the Yale University School of Medicine. “They profoundly alter many pathways.” (In addition to dopamine processes, Porn alters many areas of the brain.) “For nearly a quarter-century the U.S. has been waging a war on drugs, with little apparent success. As scientists learn more about how dopamine works (and how drugs work on it), the evidence suggests that we may be fighting the wrong battle. Americans tend to think of drug addiction as a failure of character. (You just need more will-power; you’re not trying hard enough.) But this stereotype is beginning to give way to the recognition that drug dependence has a clear biological basis. “Addiction,” declares Brookhaven’s Volkow, “is a disorder of the brain no different from other forms of mental illness.” (We now know that pornography, like other chemical addictions, radically alters the brain and is a mental health issue.) “That new insight may be the dopamine hypothesis’ most important contribution in the fight against drugs. It completes the loop between the mechanism of addiction and programs for treatment. And it raises hope for more effective therapies. Abstinence, if maintained, not only halts the physical and psychological damage wrought by drugs but in large measure also reverses it.” This last sentence is the one I really want to call you attention to, because it is exactly what we are seeing with porn addiction recovery–addiction circuitry in the brain can be reversed, and healthy circuitry restored! To illustrate this fact, here is another Time Magazine article I found. This one is from 2007 and actually proves what the 1997 article claimed in regard to the addict brain returning to normal over time. Go to the following web page: http://www.time.com/time/2007/addiction/ Click on the tab “Addiction and Brain Activity.” You will notice a brain scan image showing the activity in a non-addict brain. As you move the slider to the right, a scan image shows the brain of a cocaine addict 10 days after cocaine use stops. Notice how little activity there is in the frontal lobe of the brain–the place where logic, willpower and self-control reside. Now, as you move the slider to the far right, the scan shows the addict brain 100 days after cocaine use has ceased. Look at how much the activity in the front lobes has increased! And that is after just 100 days! The wonderful news is this brain change is not just a reality with recovering cocaine addicts, but with all addictions–including pornography addiction! The porn addicted brain can be changed and healed!
Read more http://prafulla.net/quick-tips/assorted-tips/pornography-addiction-in-america-infographic/

Return to innocence

426770_10151096787147488_796553968_n People always gripe and complain about getting older. It's true getting older can be something of an arduous task. With the proper diet/ nutrition, exercise and fervor for life, getting older doesn't have to look like it used to in the days of cigarettes and booze at every turn, even in the office place. At times libido has been known to suffer from old age or even just mature age. Again, with proper bodily care what's left to overcome is mental blockades which are generally gained over time from negative experiences. Just like a daily skin regimen involving...PRODUCTS...a sexual refinement regimen can be utilized to revamp or RESEX anyones life. The current state of our world, when is comes to sex, has become a wide open playing field. You can fuck who you want, virtually when you want, how you want....if you want?. Enter into any "sex shop" or peruse any online adult novelty store and it's all at your finger tips. Even the leading condom brand, Trojan, has joined the ranks of sex toy manufacturers abound. Right now I can look over to my nightstand and find an amazing array of pleasure products. Yes, I am a sex toy designer and yes I do "research" to find what I think the world needs to spice up their lives and regain that youthful innocence which we all long for once past the age of, now a days roughly 28. It all began with a healthy love of human connection and a wild curiosity of what our bodies are capable of when it comes to pushing the boundaries of winning pleasure. Thanks Charlie Sheen, an orgasm is a grand moment of WINNING! Returning to innocence is something to me that sounds like we would be able and allowed to explore, without judgement or shame, what ever boundaries we think we have with regard to where the human body, the human spirit and the kundalini meet. Since we love to attach products to any action or intent, as we humans do, pleasure products are here and readily available to anyone excited to reawaken that innocence. Think of them as the board games of the bedroom, the princess tiaras and boas of the seduction wonderlust, the racquets and balls of our courts ie where ever you like to "get down". Dusts, gels, lubes, finger paints, pasties, ropes, swings, spankers, powders in all flavors, temperatures, colors and beyond.....it's a wonderland of sensual fun! These are not limited to partner play alone....take your time when breaking down your barriers and returning to your innocence. Play with your products alone to get acquainted. Most insecurity occurs because of discomfort or distrust of self for one reason or another. Be caring and considerate to yourself and your partner. Laugh in the bedroom WITH each other or alone, it's the best way to break the ice. So often I've had partners that never want to separate because I am "in the moment", unafraid and candid. No matter whether there's a slip up.....no, not up the butt!....we aren't talking about that right now...or what would seem to be a mishap while exploring, it's all in fun and for the sake/ in the name of pleasure. So go ahead and HAVE FUN! Don't even hold back if you have the slightest curiosity, go with it and see where your real boundaries lie beyond the pretense. (so many puns I can barely stand it!) Think about it, when you were young and beginning to learn about everything...ANYTHING...NOTHING...it was all OK, because, "you are young". As time and all the media has shown us, no one really grows up. We are all just big ass children roaming around with lots of allowances and responsibilities getting by and making the most of the lives we're given. Use some of that money to invest in your pleasure chest, expand your repertoire while ultimately gaining more satisfaction! http://youtu.be/xsR2-Tpsqqc

What Does Sex Positive Mean

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Question: What Does Sex Positive Mean?
Answer:

The term sex positive has been in use in academic and research writing since at least the mid-1950s (probably much earlier, I've read that Wilhelm Reich was credited with first using the term). In these early references, sex positive was most often used as a synonym for erotophilia. In contemporary usage, the definition of sex positive continues to develop, and no one has made much of an effort to argue for a unified vision of sex positivity.

The term sex positive began to be used with greater frequency during the feminist “sex wars” of the 80s and 90s. At that time it was often used to define oneself in opposition to the anti-pornography feminists. Sex positive was used interchangeably with the term “pro-sex” and it began to include the idea that that sexual expression could be transgressive, that people can attain sexual freedom through the performance of sexual acts and sexual ways of being.

Carol Queen, an author and activist who has long been associated with the term sex positive, and whose 1997 collection Real Live Nude Girl was the first mainstream book to use the term sex positive in its title, defines sex positivity this way:

Sex-positive, a term that's coming into cultural awareness, isn't a dippy love-child celebration of orgone – it's a simple yet radical affirmation that we each grow our own passions on a different medium, that instead of having two or three or even half a dozen sexual orientations, we should be thinking in terms of millions. "Sex-positive" respects each of our unique sexual profiles, even as we acknowledge that some of us have been damaged by a culture that tries to eradicate sexual difference and possibility. Even so, we grow like weeds.”

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In an article for Planned Parenthood on providing sex positive sex education, Lisa Tobin writes that being sex positive includes:

  • Having a comprehensive definition of sexuality
  • Viewing sexual health as a basic human right
  • Focusing on the life-enhancing aspects of sexuality as well as attention to the negative aspects
  • Being non-judgmental and challenging narrow social constructs
  • Using inclusive language rather than value-laden language which makes assumptions based on sexual orientation or gender stereotypes
  • Assisting individuals to be aware of the choices involved in sexual decisions

The sex educator’s definition of sex positive usually invokes less of the transgressive politics, and focuses more on the positive psychological and physical impact of sexual expression.

While the term sex positive is still used in activist and academic writing, as well as in sexual health and sexology, these days it can most often be found in marketing materials for a wide range of for profit businesses that make money off selling sex in one form or another to the public. In this usage, it has become a short hand for sexual normalization. Thus a "sex positive author" is someone who will make you feel okay about whatever it is they tell you how to do in their book, and a “sex positive sex toy store” will make you feel good about whatever they sell you).

Whether sex positivity will lose its meaning in the face of so much marketing remains to be seen. But as long as there are other organizations (or, say, governments) whose agenda includes restricting sexual rights and expression, the idea of sex positivity remains an important one for all of us to hold on to.

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What Does Sex Positive Mean.

Body, Mind, and Spirit Sex

 

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Regular sex, according to medical research, has the same benefits as regular exercise. It increases the flow of certain chemicals that naturally boost and strengthen the immune system, improves cholesterol levels, stimulates circulation, invigorates the heart, diminishes the intensity of pain, especially in migraines and chronic arthritis, reduces PMS symptoms, and releases endorphins which simply make you feel good. Good sex is not a localized experience, but embraces all of the parts of our Self: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The more of our whole being that is involved, the better the sex. And the more complete the sexual healing. Physical Sex * Make friends with your body. The more accepting you are of your physical being—your best features as well as your flaws—the more comfortable you will be sharing it. * Explore how your body feels. Develop your sense of touch. Cover the surface of your body with paint, with clay, with cream, with silk. Treat yourself to a massage, a manicure, or a facial. Pat, stroke, rub, knead your skin and hair. Offer to massage someone. Ask someone to massage you. * Appreciate your body. Know that this body allows you to participate fully in life. Don't take this tremendous gift for granted. Express your gratitude for its durability, dependability, and recuperative powers. * Bless your body for the great service that it provides. Bless your feet that take you where you want to go, the back that holds you upright, the hands that serve you so well, the eyes that you see out of, the heart that keeps on ticking. Bless your life in its physical form and enjoy it. * Treat your body well. Feed it wisely, air it often, water and exercise it with Intention and care. Pay Attention to its proper maintenance and upkeep. Keep it oiled and greased and limber, and don't let it get rusty. Nurture its need to be nurtured. Tend to its requirements and pamper all of its parts. * Prepare your body for sex. Soak in a warm tub full of fragrant water to melt into the mood. Rub luscious lotion all over yourself, caressing each mound and crevice and curve with love and anticipation. Mental Sex * Mind your memories, good and bad. Do not dwell in the past. Do not look back in time in order to yearn for more youthful days or compare yourself today with who you used to be. And do not let past pain, rejection, repression, or abuse deprive you of your present pleasures Deal with what you want to change so that you can Be Here Now. * Mind your manners. Be nice. Be kind. Be patient. Be encouraging, but be sure to ask for what you want. Be willing to communicate with an open ear, as well as with an open mouth. Be clear and specific. Be gentle, but firm. Speak your truth and expect to be heard. Share your desires and fantasies and play them out. Show and tell. * Mind your P's and Q's. P stands for permission. Allow yourself to follow your instincts and your desires and give yourself the unconditional permission to do what comes naturally, whatever that might mean to you. Q is for the quest for what you want and how you want it. Emotional Sex * Explore the full range of your sexual emotions. What feelings does sex engender in you? What needs do you want it to fill? Does it? Is sex an outlet for the release of stress, of anger, frustration, or boredom? Is it an avenue to tenderness, affection, closeness,intimacy, honesty, safety, openness, trust, and love? * Express your true emotional Self in all its myriad moods. Allow your funny, silly, lazy, sad, colorful, soulful, sinful parts out to play. Be adventurous. Be bold. Be brazen. Be wild. Be inventive. Don't worry, the kids won't be able to hear you. Be silent. Be solo. Be celibate. Be whatever you darn well please. * Exorcise your demons. Relax your resistance. Release your inhibitions. Let go of your mind altogether. Forget your emotions and all of your mental ramblings for a while, and just let yourself be. There are times when it is important to reflect upon and connect with your thoughts and feelings, and there are times when it's just as beneficial to disengage. Sex would be one of those times to let go. Spiritual Sex * Create a sexual sanctuary, a safe and sacred space, a Temple of Love in which to indulge in your pleasures. Remove all distracting items that relate to the other parts of your life: notebooks, briefcases, pagers, bills, calendars. Turn the phones off, including the cell at the bottom of your purse. Cover the clocks. Close the bathroom door. * Smudge your space with the smoke of myrrh or copal to cleanse the atmosphere and with the smoke of sweet grass to invite in the sweet spirits. Create a mood conducive to enchantment, enticement, and enjoyment. This is the royal boudoir, after all. A Garden of 1001 Delights. * Decorate your love chamber it in such a way as to appeal to all of the senses. Use sheets and covers in soft fabrics: chenille, flannel, silk, and satin to lie upon. Play sensual, arousing, or relaxing music. Have candles, soft lights, colored walls, flowers, and objets d’ arte to please the gaze. Apply evocative perfumes, oils, and incense to smell. Offer lovely treats to taste. * Create a ritual before you make love. Think of sex as a way to connect — alone or in company — with the vibrating Kundalini energy that courses through you and the entire universe. Sanctify and ignite your Intention by lighting a candle, saying a prayer, or by singing, chanting, drumming, dancing, anointing. Reach out to engage your Self, another, and All That Is, in an ecstatic embrace of spirit, passion, and love.
Author's Bio:
***************************************************** Mama Donna Henes is an internationally renown urban shaman, award-winning author, popular speaker and workshop leader whose joyful celebrations of celestial events have introduced ancient traditional rituals and contemporary ceremonies to millions of people in more than 100 cities since 1972. She has published four books, a CD, an acclaimed quarterly journal and writes a column for UPI Religion and Spirituality Forum. Mama Donna, as she is affectionately called, maintains a ceremonial center, spirit shop, ritual practice and consultancy in Exotic Brooklyn, NY where she works with individuals, groups, institutions, municipalities and corporations to create meaningful ceremonies for every imaginable occasion. For information about upcoming events and services contact: Mama Donna's Tea Garden & Healing Haven PO Box 380403 Exotic Brooklyn, New York, NY 11238-0403 Phone: 718/857-1343 Email: CityShaman@aol.com http://www.DonnaHenes.net http://www.MamaDonnasSpiritShop.com/ http://www.TheQueenofMySelf.com
Body, Mind, and Spirit Sex.  

How (& How NOT) to Fondle His Balls -- the Art of Testicle Play - Los Angeles Sex, LA After Dark

  Ladies, if men's balls baffle you, you're not alone. I have no idea what to do with them, and I'm considered an expert in sex. They are so complex and mysterious to me, probably in the same way a female's breasts are to the men reading; no two sets respond, feel or look the same. The male scrotum comes in so many different shapes and sizes -- even on the same guy! Each duo has its own sensitivity preference and pain threshold, so the trick for us chicks is to learn how to handle them without hurting them Approach is everything. Men (should) know not to "drill for oil" when they first go down on a girl. Similarly, when women initially grab ahold of the cojones, we shouldn't yank, pull or squeeze them hard. After practicing on 500-plus pairs, I've learned to start out with barely a tickle and gauge my hand pressure and gestures by my man's response. If the twins start scrunching up, then I know I'm doing a good job. What confuses me, however, is how far do I go and when do I stop? In my never-ending quest for sexual knowledge I decided to turn to my 5,000 friends onFacebook and asked the dudes specifically what they like having done to their sacks, and signs to look for when we females are doing it wrong. I loved the candid and sexy answers that guys posted on my wall, and just like balls and breasts, no two responses were alike. Here's a sampling of what I received:
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A show of hands, please?
Scott: "Before I give an answer... are you grading these?" Kuillian: "I like it complimented. Women need to point out just how extraordinary it is. It's like a designer purse... only smaller and hairier." Alan: "You need to use your tongue on it and get it wet also. Then sort of make a cup out of your hand with the balls resting in your palm and gently, and I mean GENTLY 'milk' the sack while your mouth and other hand are on the cock. You'll know you're doing it right when you get an amazing 'protein facial!!!'" Robert: "Caution: Contents extremely fragile!" JP: "When they suck, don't suck." Magnus: "Well... I can't believe I'm commenting on this! My sack personally doesn't need any special attention. I like the clean up effort Sammy often comments on with the towel, other than that it's really all about the penis. The fuzzy twins are just along for the ride." Alan: "By the way, it is MUCH more pleasurable getting head with my cock and balls shaved. MUCH more enjoyable for my woman, too." Eden: "Just hold it, keep it warm and snuggled while you work the shaft, but don't squeeze or rub, just fondle, please!" Dick: "I agree with Alan!" David: "I could tell you Sammy, but probably easier if I showed you... just sayin." Engels: "A sign that a guy does not like you playing with his balls is a twitch; you will feel them tense up, we're afraid you might go too rough on our balls. Personally, it's not for me." Jenard: "I think the sack area is neglected. It's one of the best erogenous zones! When the woman is on top facing the man, she ought to try reaching around behind her and fondle or lightly touch in a scratch-like motion the scrotum and to apply light massaging pressure on that area between the sack and anal region. That way, she can gage from the look on the guy's face how much he enjoys it! When giving fellatio, it should be a two-handed act! One on the rod, and the other fondling and cupping the sac, again applying light pressure between that sack/anal area. Men are visual! Make sure he sees what you are doing, and if you can maintain eye contact with your partner it will make it even hotter. Being one of those males who is visually stimulated, I have to admit that I am one of those kissers who doesn't close my eyes! I want to remember EVERYTHING and to have that picture of that lovely creature I'm kissing burned into my hard drive." Eden: "See Sammy? It's fondling/cupping/keeping 'em warm." Scot: "Maybe a little graphic for Facebook? But, here goes... after you both cum, filling her up while she's riding on top, afterwards letting all the juices of the moment drain down your cock flooding your sack. She climbs off, and with her soft tongue and warm breath devours the creamy mess while gently stroking your cock hard again." Gil: "You want just straight dudes to answer? Or do you want my two cents?" Cullan: "Well, of course playing with them gently while blowing is obvious... even stroking the shaft with one hand while licking them or sucking them gently in her mouth. Also, while doing it doggy style, I really like when the girl reaches back and plays with my balls." Scottie: "Don't touch 'em, TY." Billy: "Licking underneath it feels good. No pain please." David: "One word. Knitting needles." Eden: "When it hurts I say, 'Be gentle with the giblets."" Jeff: "Nothing, and I usually don't say anything unless what she is doing hurts." Scott: "I find 'No stupid!' works well. Operant conditioning a la B.F. Skinner." Tony: "Well Sam, when I ever get to have sex, I'll let you know." Gary: "All I'm gonna say to any potential article readers is BEWARE of the anus and its surrounding area." Sammy (me): "Gil, I want your two cents! Everyone else, GREAT information!" Gil: "Well. My sack. LUV IT. And after I have cum, I like having my taint serviced. Feels fagtastic. Like I have lips. Good gawd! I'VE SAID TOO MUCH." So here's the take away, girls: Hold them but don't squeeze them, compliment them but ignore them, be gentle but scratch them, suck but don't suck them, fondle but don't rub them -- and in some cases don't even touch them. And then there's the anus, beware of it, but apply slight pressure to it. Still confused? Yeah... me, too. Time to practice! To see more of Sam and The Single Life visit TheSingleLifeRadioShow.com To hear more of Sam and The Single Life visit TheSingleLife.hottalkla.com Follow Sam and The Single Life on Twitter.com/TheSingleLife Friend Sam on Facebook.
How (& How NOT) to Fondle His Balls -- the Art of Testicle Play - Los Angeles Sex, LA After Dark.  

Don't be afraid to get slobbery!

Wise Guys: What Makes a Great BJ? Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What’s the difference between an average blowjob and an excellent blowjob?” Straight Single Guy (Chris): I have had a handful of extraordinary blowjobs in my lifetime. Generally I say something to any talented giver, pointing out how noteworthy her skills are. One lovely woman asked me to explain why I thought it was so good. I thought about it for a minute and I think my answer to her is the same answer to this question: Enthusiasm. You’ve got to enjoy what you do. Vigor. You’ve got to do it like you want to finish the job. Lubrication. You can’t be afraid of a little saliva. Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): The thing that really separates the ho-hum BJ from the eyes-rolling-into-the-back-of-my-head one is undoubtedly passion and enthusiasm. Of course, there are many technical aspects that come into play, but even the most experienced, tongue-twisting mouth would be boring if there was no desire behind it. So, if you want to give a guy an excellent blowjob, get into it. There is nothing sexier for me than when the person blowing me is performing enthusiastically and getting turned on while doing so. I understand blowjobs are not everyone’s  cup of tea. So it’s time to play-act a little. Find out what your man likes and go for it full tilt booty. Hopefully you’ll get something equally excellent in return. Oh, and just in case somehow someone missed the memo,  the cardinal rule of blowjobs is NO TEETH. Straight Married Guy (James Glazebrook): No teeth, and a lot of practice. Problem is, women don’t know how it feels to have your dick sucked, and how it should or shouldn’t be done — and we guys aren’t about to tell them how.  We’re far too grateful to be on the receiving end to interrupt with helpful hints.  We just lay back, relax, and hope it doesn’t grate too much. Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors. This week’s Straight Married Guy is James Glazebrook of Manflet, our Straight Single Guy is Chris DiClerico, and our Gay Married Guy is Jon Ross. To ask the guys your own question, click here. via Wise Guys: What Makes a Great BJ? | Em & Lo: Sex. Love. And Everything in Between..

5 Things You Need To Know About Vibrators

 
Vibrators 101: What to know about everyone's favorite sex toy.
Some are called rabbits. Others? Elephants. There are plenty of words to describe the battery-powered pleasure centers that are tucked in bedside drawers everywhere, but they're best known by one word: vibrators. Every woman should have a vibrator handy, but sadly such is not the case. Perhaps it's a lack of knowledge about the power—literally and figuratively—of these sex toys. To catch everyone up to speed, we've assembled five things that every woman needs to know about her should-be best friend. 1. Vibrators are good for you. Sure, they help you orgasm without requiring the pesky presence of a male, but "good for you" also relates to health. Studies have shown that women who use vibrators are more likely to have had their annual gynecological exam than women who don't use them. So, essentially, as you're giving yourself the gift of clitoral stimulation, you're also more mindful of your vaginal health. That's a win-win in our book. 2. Dudes don't hate them. Contrary to popular belief, vibrators don't intimidate men. Maybe not every guy will be showering his girlfriend with gift-wrapped Pink Elephants, but studies show that overall men are A-OK with women using vibrators. In fact, many agree they are a healthy part of a woman's sex life. 3. You've got to believe! Having confidence in the power of your battery-powered friend can do wonders. In one research study, women who had positive beliefs regarding their vibrators—and had used them within the previous 30 days—reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction. That means more arousal, lubrication and better orgasms. 4. They can get dirty. No, we aren't talking the kinky kind of dirty; we're talking the "need to be cleaned" kind. Think about where that vibrator has been and then think about the last time you gave it a good wipe down. Sorry if we're grossing you out, it's just the truth, ladies. There is such a thing as sex toy cleaner, but for those of us not looking for high-end help, soap will do just fine. In general, just wet a cloth with warm, soapy water and wipe off your toy (just avoid the battery compartment and control area). 5. They have a shelf life. A nice, expensive vibrator will last you a good, long while—but not forever. The cheaper ones will last for about one year if used semi regularly. And, if a vibe is made with a jelly or rubber, it absolutely must be tossed after one year, no matter how much it cost. Such materials harbor bacteria so keeping them longer than a year is bad news for lady parts. The good news is that more high-end vibrators often come with warranties, so if something breaks (perhaps from overuse?) replacement is possible.   5 Things You Need To Know About Vibrators | YourTango.